Yesterday “brown Santa”, the UPS man, delivered a long awaited package. Among other things that I had ordered was Collin Raye’s latest CD, His Love Remains. I brought it to work this morning and listened to it for the first time while reviewing some documents. It is beautiful collection of old, standard Catholic hymns, newer Christian music, and a few of Collin’s originals.
As I listened, some of the songs brought me back to different times in my life when they figured prominently.
The first time I heard How Beautiful was at the wedding of our friends, K & S. Knowing their devotion to the Eucharist and love for each other, I am reminded of them every time I hear this song. They are a beautiful example of a God centered marriage.
Not long after Himself and I started dating I attended the Christ Renews His Parish weekend at our church. I initially thought it was a one weekend commitment, but little did I know I was being pulled in for a long, long time. The following year the women I attended the program with that weekend were to put on the Renewal for the next group. We chose as our theme Here I Am, Lord. That weekend occurred just one week prior to our wedding. What a great way to prepare for our upcoming sacrament.
Three other songs on this CD bring me right back to my mom’s funeral. Mom had been part of the Altar and Rosary group at church. As we walked in to Amazing Grace the women from A&R lined the aisle holding lit candles, the same ones traditionally lit at the Easter Vigil Mass to bring the church out of darkness and into light. At offertory the organist sang a solo rendition of Ave Maria and I remember my sister, dad and I sobbing. It was so beautiful, so perfect.
The song I listened to today, that got me started writing this post, was the song at communion, How Great Thou Art. When we arrived at church, Fr. Mike met us in the back and asked me if anyone in our family was a Eucharistic Minister that could help out with communion. Not only am I one, I was commissioned right there in that church.
It was during that communion that I gained a sense of peace, both with mom’s death and how it fit in with our faith. It was the first time as an EM that I truly got what I was doing. That this is Jesus. I knew it before, but I didn’t know it, not fully, not completely.
Someone asked me afterwards, how I was able to distribute communion without breaking down. But at that very point in time, it wasn’t about me. It was about Him.