Monday, October 29, 2012

Sewing will never be the same

Sunday morning while we were drinking our coffee Himself and I were talking about some sewing projects I want to work on.  The hem fell of out a favorite skirt so I need to redo it.  Himself asked if I was going to hand stitch it since the store machine stitching never seems to stay.  I told him I would use the machine and the only way that hem would come out was if I used the seam ripper.

Himself paused and looked at me.

Him: Seam ripper?  That sounds like a new level of flatulence.

Me: Huh?

Him: There’s toots, then stinkies, then SBDs.  And then, the “seam ripper”!

What do you say to that???


Friday, October 26, 2012

Martha vs. Mary

On Monday I was talking with my neighbor when I went over to fetch Jack who had run off  to play with Lucy.  It was a beautiful evening at the end of a beautiful day.  Kim doesn’t work on Mondays and was out in the yard doing some Fall cleanup.  I made a comment about what a nice day she to be at home and to be outside.  She answered with what I call a “yeah, but” response. 

Yeah, it was nice, but I’m never going to get all this yard work done.

And what happens if you don’t get it all done?  Does the world stop?  Will your gardens suddenly blow up?  Or sink into the ground?

Kim is a typical Martha, lots of work and worry.  There are things that need to get done.  I  agree, there is work that must be done.  But, in order to be able to work well and to serve well, we need to be renewed and refreshed.  We need our Mary moments. 

As they continued their journey he entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him.   She had a sister named Mary [who] sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak.   Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.”  The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.   There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” 
Luke 10:38-42

I don’t know about you, but if all I do is work and “get things done” I soon feel depleted and tired.  I find I need to do something that refreshes me, body, mind and soul.  Sometimes that is just sitting on the patio with a glass of wine watching the birds go by.  It may be reading a book or taking a walk in the park.  It could be sitting in the chapel in the presence of our Lord in the Eucharist.   

But, guess what?  The dishes and the ironing and the vacuuming will still be there while I’m off doing this.  When I return to the work, I am much better for it.

What do you do to refresh and renew?


Monday, October 22, 2012

IF: Surviving

Read part 1 here.

I can't run.  I can't hide.  This is my life.  I've got to deal with it.

How? Dear Lord, how?

When Himself and I got married we both wanted “a lot” of children, at least four or five.  We both grew up in small families, me with just one sister and Himself an only child.  I even had names picked out for the first couple.  A boy would be Samuel or Daniel with Himself as the middle name.  The first girl would be called Victoria Rose, for his grandmother and my mother. 

I could picture them.  They would all have Himself’s beautiful blue/green/hazel eyes.  Boys would be blond like him and girls would be brunette like me.  They would have great smiles and be quick to giggle.  Of course they would have their father’s brains and patience.  From me they would be crafty and would like to make and build things.

Nice fantasy, huh?

Besides being disappointed that the family plans aren’t developing as expected, or at least as hoped for, there is a sense of brokenness.  Both of those, the disappointment and the brokenness, can take its toll on both the individual and the marriage.   

I think the first thing to living through IF is knowing your priorities.  Yes, we wanted to have children, but we wanted our marriage, our faith and our sanity all to remain intact and uncompromised more.  Without those, what would we have to give to our children?    We had seen families and marriages where that didn’t occur and the view was not pretty.  We didn’t want to go down that road.  Not at all.

With that in mind, it helped us set our limits.  We would not do IVF.  It did not fit in with our faith.  That was a nonnegotiable.  When the “fertility specialist” suggested we start injectibles, he wanted us to consider “selective reduction” if a high order pregnancy occurred.  Huh?  Get pregnant and then kill my babies??  Are you nuts?  So  we walked away from that treatment.  Compromising our beliefs just wasn’t an option.

We also respected each other’s comfort zone.  If one of us was at ease doing X and Y but the other only could handle X, we did just X.   

A number of years after we were married, Himself’s aunt was in town visiting from California.  She paid us a great compliment.  She told us to her it seemed that we lived life to the fullest.  We continued to do things we enjoyed or found important.  We volunteered at church.  We had season tickets to our favorite baseball team.  We saw plays and traveled.  We read books that we loved so much.  Weekly we met with our prayer group to recite the rosary.  Himself played golf regularly with his buddies.  I had my season pass to Cedar Point.  We took walks in the park. 

We kept on living.  We didn’t put something off just in case I got pregnant.  Run that race.  Take that trip.  Decorate that room.  Heck, if a baby comes along you’ll get to decorate it again.  What fun!  Keep on living. 

There’s still more to say.  Tune in next time.


Saturday, October 20, 2012

Things you don't expect your husband to say

Honey, watch out for the skull by the back gate.



Thursday, October 18, 2012

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for. . .

* Your comments – Your comments on my last post, the first of the IF series, were so encouraging.  When I set out to write that series I had something specific in mind, but it seems to be evolving to something slightly different. 

* Anniversaries – Sis and BIL celebrate their 4th wedding anniversary today.  I’m not sure they realize just how much joy they have brought to our family.  They married exactly one month after mom passed away (9/18) and gave us something to celebrate in a time of great sorrow.  And now, by bringing baby Sara into the family, we have much more to rejoice in.  Love them all!

* Our county parks – The county in which we live has a number of really nice parks spread throughout it. 

* Fall – Just when we hit think we’ve hit peak color, it gets more beautiful.  Saturday morning I took Jack for a walk one of our favorite parks and got to enjoy some beautiful scenery.

* Frost – That sounds weird, I know.  The morning frost lends a whole new beauty to the landscape.  Everything seems to sparkle.  And it has killed off many of the pesky bugs.  Yeah!

What are you thankful for?


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

IF: Who me???

So, you get married, and, as we Catholics like to say, are open to life.  As newlyweds the bedroom is a happening place. Heck, so is the living room, basement, shower, back seat of the Buick, wherever.  Babies should just be arriving one after the other.

No?  Why not?

Six months go by.  Then a year.  You start getting the questions.

Are you guys planning on having a family?

How many children do you want?

When are you going to give me a grandbaby? or a cousin, or a niece/nephew, playmate, or you fill in the blank?

Each question is like a little dagger, reminding you that what you want so much isn’t happening.

So, at your next “annual”, you mention it to your doctor.  If you are like I was, you figure the doctor knows everything.  He’ll fix me.  Time to try some drugs.  Clomid sounds good.  Three months of that should do the trick.  It won’t be paid for by your medical insurance, of course.  But wait, aren’t they supposed to pay to fix what’s broken???  Not in this case.  And, add insult to injury, no BFP. 

Little do you know at this point, this is just the beginning.  There are specialists to see, new vocabulary to learn, and oh so many procedures to endure.  

This wasn’t the plan.  A honeymoon baby was. 

Wait!  Stop this ride!  I want off.

I just want a baby.  Is that so much to ask?

Apparently, it is.

Unfortunately, we have joined a club we want no part of.  We have a label we never imagined would be assigned to us.


That word looks awfully ugly there.  It's stark and blunt.  It hurts.

Boy how it hurts.

Is there something wrong with me, God, that you don't want me to be a mother??  And Himself?  He would be so awesome as a dad.  I've seen him with babies and he is patient and kind and loving and caring.  Why?

It is very isolating, almost by definition.  I will never be with child.  We will always be a couple, not a family in the traditional sense. 

There are reminders everywhere.  Friends are expecting their second, third, or even sixth child.  You get invited to another baby shower.  Advertisements for diapers on TV have been known to make you weep and the Mother's Day blessing at church makes you bawl like the baby you want.

I can't run.  I can't hide.  This is my life.  I've got to deal with it.

How? Dear Lord, how?

I'll tell you next time. 


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Quick Takes (27) - Sunday Edition

It has been quite a long time since I've done Quick Takes.  But,  since Jen is bribing encouraging us to do them this week, I thought I'd jump back in.  There's nothing like the thought of winning an Amazon gift card to entice this bibliophile to write.

I am planning on starting the IF series this week.  I haven't forgotten about it.  Hardly.  I have been thinking about it a lot, not quite obsessing, but close.  I want to make sure I say the right things.  But, if I aim for perfection, it just isn't going to happen.  So warts and all, the first installment should appear Tuesday.

Life has been busy, in a good way, lately.  Our family had a reunion last weekend to welcome some members that had come to visit from the old country (Slovakia).  My aunt, uncle and their dog drove up from Tennessee and stayed with us the week prior.  What a great week!  It was such a joy to be able to talk with them, uninterrupted.  They have lived a very interesting and adventurous life and share the same values that we find so important.  We hated to see them go.

One of the days that they were here, we watched my niece for the day.  I know motherhood can be difficult at times, but I have a new found respect for all parents.  Babies with bad bellyaches are not happy campers!  I thought I was killing poor Sara.  How would I explain that one to my sister???

The day my aunt and uncle left I had to head to the airport for a work trip.  It was just a two day class in St. Louis (go Cardinals!)  but it was tiring.  I am certainly glad I do not have to travel often.  Getting groped by TSA, packed in a sardine can thirty thousand feet above earth, and sleeping in a strange bed away from my honey is not my idea of a good time. 

Our church just started a Sunday evening mass the beginning of last month.  I didn't think I would like it.  On days like today, though, when I'm moving really slowly in the morning, it is an answered prayer.  Another, local parish has a 5:30pm mass that we have gone to on occasion, but the kids do the music.  Himself and I refer to it as the Rock 'n Roll mass.  Don't like.  Not at all.  Yep, I'm an old fuddy duddy!

“The only object of liberty is life.”
– GKC in Irish Impressions

Check out more quick takes at Conversion Diary.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Thankful Thursday

I haven't done this in a while and figure it's about time I get back to it.  So, here it goes . . .

Today I am thankful for. . .

* Sunshine – It's been a bit cloudy and gloomy here and the forecast for this weekend doesn't look promising.  But, as I write this, there are clear, blue skies, the temperature is supposed to be in the 70s, and the trees are looking beautiful with their brightly colored leaves. 

* Today is my Friday.  I'm taking tomorrow off to go to a local art show.  We go to this show every year and it is awesome. 

* Baby Sara – I'm picking her up in the morning and she is spending the day with us.  It's been over two weeks since we've seen her last and I miss her.  A lot.

* Family – My aunt and uncle are spending the week with us.  I love the evenings when we get to just sit around and chat.  My aunt and my mom were a lot alike in many ways.  It's going to be hard when they leave.

* More family - We have a family reunion this weekend and there will be people there I haven't seen in a long time, including a distant cousin that I have seen since before we were married.  It will be good to catch up with everyone.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

14 years

Fourteen years ago today I said I do.  And I would say it again and again. 

Himself, I love you!

True Believers

Church bells ringing on our wedding day
Climbed in that limo and rode away
Guess you'll always hear some people say
They're never gonna make it.

We settled in and we settled down
In this quiet little seaside town
You were the rock I built my world around
And life won't ever break it

We are one heartbeat in the darkness
We are one lasting answered prayer
We are one unbroken promise
We are two, True Believers

It wasn't easy getting here today
Sometimes you stumbled or I lost my way
But every roadblock was a chance to say;
Take my hand I'm here beside you.

We worked and made it through the toughest parts
Now every days another chance to start,
To look around and see that where we are
Is where we were trying to get to

We are one heartbeat in the darkness
We are one lasting answered prayer
We are one unbroken promise
We are two, True Believers

We are one before our God in Heaven
We are one road when the going gets rough
We are one now and forever
We are one name, one life, one flame

We are one heartbeat in the darkness
We are one lasting answered prayer
We are one unbroken promise
and We are two, True Believers

We are two, True Believers