Thursday, June 6, 2013

Need a laugh?

A friend sent this to me the other day.  Some of them had me laughing so hard I was crying.  Enjoy!


Did  I read that sign correctly? 
TOILET  OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR  BELOW
 
       
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC  WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES  OUT
 

In a London department store:
BARGAIN  BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
 

In  an office:
WOULD  THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK  OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
 
In  an office:
AFTER  TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE  DRAINING BOARD
   
Outside  a secondhand shop:
WE  EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING  YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
 

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED  DUE TO ILLNESS
 

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS  PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
 

Seen during a conference:
FOR  ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON  THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE  FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL  CHARGES
 

Message on a leaflet:
IF  YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET  LESSONS
 

On  a repair shop door:
WE  CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL  DOESN'T WORK)
 
**********************************************************
 
 
Proofreading  is a dying art,wouldn't you say?
 
Man  Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
 

This  one I caught in the SGV ( San Gabriel Valley ) Tribune the other  day, called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this
It took  two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was  reading was impossible!!!
They  put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this  along. Too funny
.
   
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
 
Really?  Ya think? 
 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
 
Now  that's taking things a bit far!
 
 
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
 
What  a guy!
 
 
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
 
No-good-for-nothing'  lazy so-and-so's!
 
 
J
uvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
See  if that works any better than a fair trial!
 
 
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
 
Ya  think?!
 
 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
 
Who  would have thought!
 
 
Enfield  ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
 
They  may be on to something!
 
 
Man  Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
 
He  probably IS the battery charge!
 
 
New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
 
Weren't  they fat enough?!
 
 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's  what he gets for eating those beans!
 

 
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
 
Chainsaw  Massacre all over again!
 
 
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
 
Boy,  are they tall!
 

 
And  the winner is....
 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
 
Did  I read that right?
 


 

 

2 comments:

  1. This looks like "Absurd Person Singular" material.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL!!!!! I love them all, but ESPECIALLY the last one! :-D

    ReplyDelete