Himself assured me that wasn't the case. I still didn't know all of Sara's likes and dislikes yet and once I did things would get better.
Another day, a couple of weeks later, it hit me again, though not nearly with such vengeance. I was driving to work one morning and had to wait for the school bus that was picking up the middle school kids in the neighborhood. I looked at them and thought our kids should be getting on that bus. Had we had kids when we were newly married they would have been about that age.
But, and this is key, those times become fewer and fewer. If tears come from a PG announcement, they are tears of joy.
Attending, or even throwing, a baby shower not only becomes easier, it is what it is - a joyful celebration of a new life entering this world. It's no longer a reminder of what isn't.
The cries of a newborn tug at your heart because you want to fix what is wrong for that little child not because it's not yours.
Somehow, some way, it does get easier. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like it will.