Friday, March 6, 2015

There’s No Place Like Gnome

While perusing blogs the other day I read this post over at Small Things.  Although all of Ginny's pictures are quite beautiful, one in particular caught my attention.  It wasn't one of the new baby goats that are so adorable that had me smiling.  It was the one of the Southern Exposure Seed Exchange garden catalog.  It has Gnomes on it!  Lots and lots of Gnomes!

Seeing the Gnomes sent  me on a trip down Memory Lane.  When I was in high school we had to do a speech in one of my classes.  We had our choice of topics: either talk about an embarrassing moment in our lives and what we learned from it or give an informational, teaching talk.  Well, back then I was terribly, horribly, painfully shy so my most embarrassing moment would have been that speech, right then and there.

So, I decided to do the informational speech.  I had recently received the book Gnomes for Christmas and fell in love with these little people.  That would be my topic.

I told the class how Gnomes were small, elusive little people only about 15 centimeters tall and 250 to 300 grams in weight.  They live to be many hundreds of years old and dwell mostly in rural woodlands and farms.  Their senses are far superior to humans, and, like dogs, "see" much of the world through their noses.  It is estimated that they can smell nineteen times better than man!

At about the time a male Gnome turns 100 years old, he begins to think of marriage.  He must search far and wide for a bride, since Gnome populations are scattered and small.  Plump womenfolk, round of form, are the favorite.  Once he has found and won over his bride-to-be, the wedding will take place under the bride's birthday tree at midnight of a full moon. 

Gnome pregnancies always result in twins and last twelve months.  Their families used to be quite large, often with 10 or twelve children, but that is no longer the case. 

I continued to tell the class about Gnomes' relationships with the animals in their environments (they are quiet close) and about how they would entertain themselves (they love to play games).  I brought the book I had received as a present and showed the class some of the pictures.  It was noted that none of the pictures were actual photographs, but instead were paintings and sketches.  Since Gnomes are such private and elusive creatures no one has yet to be able to capture them on film.

Sometime during that speech I lost my shyness and spoke with such passion and conviction about these little people.  The girls in my class asked questions afterwards and walked away wondering if Gnomes actually existed and weren't just a myth.

That catalog cover will soon be adorning my soon-to-be-newly painted laundry room.  I wanted something whimsical and fun to hang on the wall and that artwork has me grinning ear-to-ear.

Gnome sweet Gnomes!



  1. I love the image and hearing about your speech! In my high school rhetoric class I had the pleasure of writing a persuasive paper about the existence of Santa Claus; it was one of the most fun things I have ever written.

  2. This is so fun! I want to decorate my yard with gnomes now!