Monday, May 13, 2013

What I missed on Mother’s Day

There was much talk last week about Mother’s Day and what we infertiles are missing out on. It seems that there’s a deep seated longing that, unfulfilled, is felt much more deeply this one day of the year. It honors in a big and obvious way what we want to be.

Perhaps I missed something like this:

Had we had a honeymoon baby, our son (I’ve always pictured our first child as a boy) would be approaching his 14th birthday this summer. He would be the oldest of a brood of rugrats that would messy up my kitchen making me a wonderful, albeit burnt, breakfast in bed. After “cleaning up” the kitchen we would head off to mass and then to the park to run around and burn off some energy. We would then head home, dirty, tired and happy, to cook dogs and burgers on the grill.

It’s a nice daydream. But, as you know, it’s not my life.

Here’s some of what I didn’t miss this Mother’s Day:

A wonderful and relaxing dinner at our house with the lots of family around.

Receiving a beautiful miniature rose plant from my aunt. It was a nice reminder of her sister, my mom, Rose, and all the love with which she showered us. I think she raised us well. She would have so loved her grandbaby!

Watching that grandbaby, my niece and Goddaughter, crawl around the house and be fascinated by half-filled water bottles. Watching her face light up when she sees Uncle Himself. Her giggles and babbling are such a delight!

Watching my sister grow as a mother. She waited a long time to meet the man who was to become her husband. She had a bit of a wait to become a mother as well. It’s such a joy to see the way Sara looks at and for her mommy.  

Knowing how much Himself loves me, regardless of the number of children I was or wasn’t able to give him. He helped make this Mother’s Day special as it was my first as a Godmother. The beautiful ring that adorns my right hand now is a great reminder of that!

Reading your stories and posts. Rejoicing with positive test results, birth announcements, adoption placements. Praying with you when the news isn’t so good. And seeing the wisdom you share that I never knew was possible.  

I suppose I am at an age where I have come to terms with our childlessness. It took a while to get there. I’ve cried through more Mother’s Day masses than I care to admit.

I know there are things I missed this Mother’s Day. But there was certainly a lot I didn’t!



  1. Good way to look at it. We IF'ers have to keep focusing on what we DO have and not on what we don't have.

  2. I'm so glad you blog! Love your perspective. So glad you enjoyed your 1st Godmother's day!

  3. What a great post! I love your perspective.

  4. You are beautiful, just beautiful! Thank you for these words full of thanks and peace.

  5. As I'm sure you know, we felt your pain for a long time.

  6. Love it.

    I chose not to post on Mother's Day this year... this Mother's Day was different for me - I had more cause to feel despair than any other Mother's Day, and yet, I had a wonderful day and was filled with peace. God is good.

  7. Thank-you. This is beautiful!

  8. Beautiful post! I hope to find the same peace -- one day, right?

  9. What a treasure your ring is as a reminder of your Goddaughter, Sara!
    Happy First Godmothers' Day!!!