Sunday, December 12, 2010

It's a start

I write such great posts in my head at 4am when I just can't sleep.  If only I could remember it now!

OK, first things first.  I've thought about doing this for a while but didn't think I'd have much to say.  But, confession time - I was envious.  Yes, envious of all you who have prayer buddies.  What could be better?  One person praying just for me, and me just for someone else.  Well, I'd get the better part of that deal no doubt.  So, next time prayer buddies come around I'm ready.  Until then I'll continue to pray for "my ladies".

And I thought a little more about what I could write.  I read such wonderful posts, written with such gut wrenching honesty.  You ladies share your most intimate thoughts and desires and pain as well as your joy.  What could I bring to that?  Maybe it's that buring desire to be a mother doesn't get answered with a sweet bundle of joy that turns your life upside down and makes you giddy with lack of sleep.  Maybe it's that God has some other plan for you that doesn't include children.  Maybe it's that even if the ache in your arms to hold your own baby never goes away you'll still be okay.  You can go through the tests and the drugs and the surgeries and the big fat negatives and sill come out sane.  Mostly.


  1. I've never read your "first post" before.

    It brings tears to my eyes that you wanted to show us there is life on the other side of IF, with or without children. You do a beautiful job of it and I am quite sure God sent you to us for a reason. Thank-you for sharing your story and your life with us.

  2. I love first posts. Mine included a bucket list of things, on my 30th birthday, I wished to complete by the time I turned 60. Good for you for starting and finding somewhere to share your 4 AM thoughts.
    I deal with the prospect of not having children of my own and write about it sometimes, on my own blog. This life's journey is not the same for any of us, but still beautiful.