Empty headed

I make lists.  Things I need to do today, this week, this season, this year.  And lately on my daily and/or weekly lists is to write something.  Anything.  And it feels my head is just empty of anything worthwhile to say.  I'm not sure why. 

Work has been draining.  I was in a training class for new employees half of this week.  It was good.  I learned a lot, things that will help me with the project I'm working on there.  By the time I get home I just want to relax and "veg" as we like to say. 

I haven't been reading as much as I should, or at least not the right things.  I tend to peruse the net or play computer games when I get home rather than read something more substansive.  Got to work on that.   

I tend to come up with and formulate my posts when I take Jack for a walk in the mornings.  The weather here lately has been anything but conducive to long, leisurely walks.  Ten degrees and snow just doesn't cut it.  The other day when when we walked it was -2 and calm with gloriously blue skies, and since I was dressed right, it didn't feel all that bad.  But the loud crunching of the snow seemed drown out any thoughts that may have gone floating by.

What's the remedy for empty-headedness???

We are not amused!

When you don't have kids to dress up, there's always the dog!

What I Miss

When I was off work these last two years I often had lunch with my dad.  For a while he took flying lessons at a small airport near us and afterwards he'd come over for lunch and tell us about that day's adventure.  After he stopped taking lessons we just make plans for whatever day worked best and DH and I would take him to one of our favorite local haunts.

Now that I'm working again I was afraid both he and I would miss those lunches.  But, where I'm at is pretty close to where he lives, so, what the heck, let's have a lunch date!  I found a place he'd never been to, nothing fancy, but good food cheap.  My kind of place.  And we talked.  And talked and talked some more until it was time to get back to the office.  We talk about almost anything - politics, sports, good sportsmen like Bob Feller, and immature, selfish ones like an ex-northeast Ohio basketball star.  We talked about health insurance and cooking and family.

And on the drive back to work I thought how proud mom would have been of him.  It breaks his heart that she's not here, but he hasn't used that as excuse to feel sorry for himself or become a recluse.  He's learned to cook and clean and do laundry.  He's a great cookie baker, making a dozen different kinds for Christmas.  He goes out to lunch with friends and goes to the gym regularly.  He even volunteered at the church carnival.  She's got to be smiling up there in heaven.

I also thought abough how much I miss her.  And what I miss the most - talking to her.  Hearing her voice.  Her asking if that was a new blouse, or if I lost weight, or if that was a new haircut.  Talking about our latest sewing projects.  Girl stuff.  Things mom and daughters talk about.  It's what I miss the most.

I thought this would be easier

Blogging, that is.  I had all these things I thought I wanted to say.  And I've gotten a few of them out.  A few, not what I would have liked by now.  I guess starting this just before going back to work wasn't one of my best ideas.  But I did.  So I'll keep it up, or at least try to.

When I'd check other gals' blogs and there was no new updates I'd be disappointed and wonder what was going on in their lives.  Life.  That's what was happening.  Doing what you do, day in and day out. 

I'm learning what my life is supposed to be now.  I've always been a person who likes having something to do.  But going back to work has made me reevaluate where and how I want to spend my time.  I'm finding I crave being at home.  Chatting with my husband.  Playing with my puppy.  Reading your blogs.  Reading a good book.  Enjoying the quiet.

And perhaps writing more.

New Years Resolutions

Does anybody make New Years resolutions?  More importantly, does anybody keep them?  How?  Each year I seem to make them and then break them in quick order. 

I thought I had the perfect one a few years ago - start no new projects.  I'm famous for having a "great" idea, getting all the materials and supplies together for the effort, even starting it, then. . . nothing.  It sits there partially done.  It could be a sewing project or an organizing one, or cooking or jewelry making or anything. 

So I figured I'd not let myself buy any new supplies and then just finish what I've already begun.  It worked for a while and then something else catches my fancy.  Or the next "great" idea comes along.  I have gotten better, just not as good I I should be.

I decided my resolution this year is to be healthier - mentally, phyically, spiritually, emotionally.  I'm not going to say I'm going to lose 50 pounds, or read so many books, and pray eighty-two times a day.  I want to do all that, but I'm going to try doing it little by little.  Maybe it will work.  Maybe it won't.  But if I'm a little better by the end of the year, I'll have succeeded.

What are your resolutions??

My 10 in 2010

JBTC had someone suggest that she give 10 words that described her year in 2010.  I decided to give it a try too.  It wasn't has easy as I thought it might be.  Here's my 10:

Changes, active, productive, involved, quiet,
creative, family, content, weary, tired

Since I'm pretty new at blogging, I don't have posts for most of those words.  Hmm??  Maybe they'll be fodder for future posts.

The gift of time

As I lay awake in bed this morning thinking of this post, I was originally going to call it "Everything changes" since things around here are going to be changing for me quite a bit.  After more than two years as a stay at home wife, tomorrow I go back to work full time.  And, if you ask any of the men in my life - DH, Jack the dog, and my dad - they don't like it.  But things change.

I started thinking about how my time off began.  I was still on leave after the death of my mother.  She had fought ovarian cancer for more than five years, but in the end it was too much.  I was tired and mentally and emotionally worn out, so in addition to the time allotted by my company, I had extended my leave.  Then, one week after mom died, I got a call from my boss to dial into a department meeting and give her a call afterwards.  I, along with almost 200 other people, was getting my sixty day notice.  So what did DH and I do?  Celebrate of course!  We went to a local winery, bought a bottle of our favorite, and sat out on the hill overlooking the reservoir and watched the goats.

These past two plus years really have been a gift.  To me. To my husband.  To family, friends, church.  I could be present in ways I hadn't been able to before. 

Only one month after mom died, my sister got married.  And mom promised us, and if you knew her you would believe it, that if the wedding didn't go on she would come back and haunt us.  Thankfully I got at least a portion of her talent for sewing and was able to tailor the flower girl's dress that mom would have done.  And I could be there for my sister when she went to pick up her dress and learn how to bustle it. 

And mom's wasn't the only death our family experienced.  My uncle died suddenly and unexpectedly and my cousin's wife died  six months after mom of the same thing.  I had the time to be able to got to Jane's funeral 600 miles and 3 states away.  My my aunt's grand kids came for visits the following summer I was able to take them to baseball games and to Cedar Point.

I had time to reconnect with my dad.  We had lunch often.  We took drives to Amish country to get cheese and butter and just watch life go by.  We even built a bridge.  And when he took flying lessons at a nearby airport he came over and gave us the scoop on what happened.  I got to know him as I never had before.  What a gift that is!

I had time to do things I like.  Walk the dog.  Read.  Sew.  Learn to make bread.  I finally perfected DH's favorite egg bread.  I made three quilts.  I read, and actually enjoyed, Chesterton.  I discovered a few new authors and read some old favorites. 

But what I treasured the most was the time DH and I had.  We had deep conversations.  And silly, goofy ones as well.  And quiet.  We didn't need to fill up every moment talking because we had time just to be.   One of our favorite things to do, when he is done working for the day, is to sit on the patio with whatever beverage and just watch the world go by.  And lucky for us, that includes humming birds and chickadees and robins and bluebirds and deer and even a hungry snake trying to eat a frog.  DH rescued that frog of course!  And the snake had to find something else for dinner.

I am so grateful for this time I had.  I pray that I can take lessons learned and the relationships formed and keep moving in the right direction.  I want to use my time wisely.  Do what's important and right, not what is expected.  And still be grateful for what I'm doing and where I'm at with the time I'm given.

Christmas in pictures

Our Christmas Eve visitors

I'm one half of the Arts & Environment committee at church.  With the help of a whole lot of very talented and very willing people, we had the church decorated in less than 4 hours.  I think it turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

Our tree.  Probably the best one yet.

Jack removing the tag off one of his presents.  It seems to be his favorite part of getting a new toy.

The lights on his collar illuminate, but it's hard to tell from this picture.  He's so darn cute I just had to include it though.

Merry Christmas!

Wishing you all a very joyous and blessed Christmas!

Just for a laugh