Lap dog?!

Apparently Jack decided he needed some one-on-one attention and I was it!  When did my 105 pound puppy become a lap dog?  I was trying to read Belloc's "The Path to Rome".  Oh well, later.

Do you need to be inspired?

If you ever need to be inspired, watch this video.  Kory was paralyzed during a routine play in his high school football game back in October 2009.  When he should have been enjoying his senior year, he was fighting for his life.  When he should be experiencing his first year of college he's undergoing  physical therapy.  God bless this young man!

Quick Takes

- 1 -

This is my first attempt at Quick Takes.  I'm not sure I can come up with seven, but here it goes. (Is this cheating, putthing the disclaimer as #1?)

- 2 -

What a difference a week makes!  Last week DH and I were hiking in the park and today we're hunkered down in the midst of a major storm.

- 3 -

JBC and TCIE are once again organizing Prayer Buddies, this time for Lent.  Amazing things have come out of this the others times it has been done.  And what could be better than to pray specifically for someone!

- 4 -

In theory chocolate bread should be good.  It is not.

- 5 -

The last year or so I've been having problems sleeping.  Or, I should say, staying asleep.  I wake up in the middle of the night around 2am or so and can't go back to sleep.  The last time this happened I decided, at about 3am, to create my own 30 day challenge.  I'm trying, for 30 days, to do things that will improve my health and hopefully my sleeping.  When I started back to work I started drinking way too much coffee and stopping at Micky D's for breakfast too much.  So far, one week into it, so good.  No coffee and no breakfast stops!

- 6 -

I've been enjoying reading more lately.  I've been trying to read some "quality" books as well as the fiction ones I love.  GK Chesterton has been a favorite lately.  Even though much of what he wrote was done over 100 years ago, he is still so relevant today.  And if anyone should be a saint, it's him.  Give him a try.  He's not always an easy read, but most definitely worth the effort.

- 7 -

I read this quote on someone's blog earlier in the week and love it. 

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle."   (Albert Einstein)

What a glorious day!

After being back at work for a couple of months, we decided I needed a long weekend.  So, I took yesterday off and we headed to the national park for a hike.  We couldn't have asked for a better day - 56 degrees and sunny - in February!  Gotta love that!  The trail was still a bit icey, so we had to take it slowly.  We tried to get the Chickadees and Nuthatches to take some food from us, but they were just a little too scared.  Maybe next time. 

Afterwards we went out to one of our favorite local places for lunch.  When we got home we sat on the patio for a little bit and soaked in the sun.  A perfect day with my honey!

Guilty vs. Guilty Pleasures

I often hear people talk about “guilty pleasures” – long hot showers, dark chocolate truffles, hours long phone conversations, an occasional adult beverage, etc.  You get the picture.  On one of the cable stations they’ve been playing reruns of “S.ex in the Ci.ty” and I’ve caught a few episodes.  Since the show originally ran on a premium channel we don’t get, I haven’t seen this show before.  I knew it was supposed to be pretty raunchy.  It’s well acted and has some interesting premises and usually a valid lesson learned by the end of the episode.  I’ve been telling myself it’s just a guilty pleasure.  But, if that’s the case, why do I feel so dirty, so slimy afterwards?

The show's main tramp, Samantha, discovers that sex is better when it’s with a person in a committed relationship.  Gee, you don’t say?!  And Carrie learns that when women try to be men and men try to be women, they lose something of themselves.  I wouldn’t have guessed!  And in one of the latest episodes Miranda finds herself pregnant from a casual relationship.  She discusses "ending it" while Charlotte agonizes over not being able to conceive.  After all, everyone's had at least one, or two, or four.   Uggggg!!!!

Why is is that such immoral behavior made to seem so normal?  so accepted?  It's as if people that don't engage in such behavior are the exception rather than the rule.  I'm really hoping that's not the case. 

Guilty or guilty pleasure?

Guilty!

Not this time, devil! ** UPDATED **

Saturday morning I started working on an ambo banner I wanted to hang at church that afternoon.  I’ve had the material for weeks, if not months, but had put off the sewing.  I’m great at setting self-imposed deadlines and missing them.  I decided it wasn’t going to happen this time.  So of course when I sat down to work, the bobbin winder malfunctioned and the machine itself stopped working.  Yippee. 

There have been many times when something similar would have happened and I would have let go a string of foul words or walked away from the project.   I don’t know why this time was different, but I wasn’t going to let the devil taint something that was going to be displayed in church, in a holy place.  Somehow I fixed the machine and continued on my sewing, merry way.  And, as it usually happens, things have a way of working out for the better.  While fixing the bobbin I found a different color of thread that looked much better than what I had started out with.  Take that, devil!!!

**UPDATE **

I finally got a couple of good pictures of the finished banner hanging up.  I'd either forget the camera or bring it and have dead batteries.

A New Low

Well, I hit a new low.  For walking in the cold that is.  When Jack and walked this morning it was -3 degrees, without the windchill.  But you know what?  I really enjoyed it.  There was a glorious red and orange and yellow sunrise.  It was quiet and peaceful.  A good start to the day!

When you can't sleep

DH couldn't sleep last night so here's what we was up to at 2am - playing with Phot.oshop.

The original:

In B&W:

With other editing:

I know which one I like the best.  Which is your favorite?

DH after Wednesday's ice and snow storm.



Another day in paradise

Tuesday and Wednesday I worked from home because the weather was so bad and I'm so chicken drving in it.  It just wasn't worth going in.  Yesterday I snapped a few photos of the snow and then the way we kept warm in the evening.  Good times!

IF and me

I've been wondering when I was going to get inspired to write this post.  I guess it's now.

I've been reading quite a number of your blogs over the last couple of years.  One blog leads to the next and that one to the next and so on.  You know how it goes.  I'm not sure anymore what one I started reading first, not that it matters, but I do know I found it through a posting on the Ya.hoo Catholic fertility group.  The support I saw the ladies give each other there I see in your writings.

I decided to write a blog for a couple reasons.  Some are purely selfish - I want a prayer buddy next time you do it and I want to be one.  I pray for you all the time - "my ladies" - and when I check on the flowers at church I always light a candle.  And I need practice writing, putting my thoughts down, making words get my thoughts across.

But I also hope I could share that you can make it through IF, without a baby, and have a good life.  No, a great life and a fulfilling one at that.

DH and I got married, at least in my mind, a little later in life.  I was a month away from my 34th birthday and he was 36.  I never gave it a thought that we wouldn't be able to have children and I was poorly educated on my own health and fertility.  After a couple of years of marriage and no pregnancies I spoke with my doctor and he put me on Clo.mid for three cycles.  When that didn't work he said there was nothing more he could do and send me to a specialist.  That doc decided I need surgery to remove a polyp and then did one blood draw at mid cycle and pronounced me just fine.  And when PG didn't occur, the next step, according to him, was IVF and injectibles.  As Catholics we weren't about to go the IVF route so they wanted us to agree to "selecti.ve red.uction" if when we used the drugs it resulted in a high multiple pregnancy.  No way.  Bye bye! 

So we were on our own, or so it seemed.  But by then I was having other issues.  An ultrasound revealed that I several large fibroids.  Since, according to my regular gyn, we weren't doing anything to have children (oh really???) I should just have a hysterectomy.  And he called me at work to tell me this!  Again, no way, bye bye.

I posted on the Catholic fertility group, asking for prayers, because, even though I was closing in of forty, I wasn't ready to throw in the towel just yet.  When M learned I lived just a couple of hours from her she recommended her doctor, a Pope Paul IV, Creighton trained, Catholic doctor.  I immediately made an appointment and hi-tailed it down the highway 120 miles.  I love, love , love Dr P.  I would need surgery, pretty extensive, to remove eight fibroids, one of which was the size of a grapefruit.  I then learned charting, had real blood work done and found out just what my issues were. 

We used to belong to a prayer group that met once a week to pray the rosary and learn the catechism.  One day, before it started that evening, I was by myself watching our friends' seven month old daughter crawl around.  This was their fourth child, and while I was thrilled for them (that's a whole other post) I was asking God why not us.  I heard, clear as day, a woman's voice say "In His time, not yours".  I know in my heart it was our Blessed Virgin.  It gave me such peace.

We tried some more, but still no pregnancies.  And you know what?  I'm okay with that.  We tried.  We didn't compromise our values or our souls.  And His time might not be in this life.  Or I may parent in some other way.  I don't know what our good Lord wants from me. 

I can't say it was always easy.  When I see DH with a baby or little child I know he would have been such a great father.  He has such patience and kindness.  I've watched him sit with our friends' cranky toddler and play with pebbles by the pond for hours until he was a happy baby once again.  I've watched him soothe a crying infant when I was ready to give up. 

And you know baby showers.  Plaster a smile on and have a great time.  Yeah right!  I've only skipped one baby shower.  Watching a fifteen year old get pregnant, have the baby and decide to parent hurt loads.  And when she had a second baby at seventeen it nearly broke my heart.  God gave her these two children that she could barely take care of, why not us?

But why shouldn't it be us?  I think DH and I are closer for it.  Perhaps it gives us a sense of empathy we wouldn't otherwise have had.  Deep inside I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be.