Asking Forgiveness

For any number of reasons, this Advent/Christmas season hasn’t been what it should have been or what I wanted it to be.  I would like to think I’m immune to all the commercial and societal expectations, but apparently I am not.

Himself and I hosted the family Christmas Day celebration as we have done every year since we married.   Even with a couple of deaths in the family, it has grown.  Now it’s not only our immediate family, it includes my sister’s in-laws and my aunt and cousin.  There’s not a lot more people but just enough to somewhat complicate the gift giving.  And we’ve somehow have come to be known as gracious and generous hosts.  No pressure there!

Combine worrying about getting ready for that along with decorating responsibilities at church and a nasty cold that wiped me out for a couple of weeks, Jesus didn’t figure into my preparation.  Not at all.  No Advent wreath.  No daily prayers or extra masses.   Zilch.  Nada.  Nothing.

And you know what happens then.  Things get ugly. 

I started keeping track of all the annoyances Himself caused me.  Didn’t think about the good stuff.  Nope.  Just the bad.  Which in the whole scheme of things, weren’t really bad.  But keep track I did.  And boom.  Out it all came yesterday after work.  Not pretty at all.

And for that I am truly sorry.